The Relationship SeeSaw: My Needs versus Your Needs (Cardinal T-Square 2017)

pair-707501_1920So what’s up with all your relationships lately?  Chances are, if you are like most people, your social calendar is full these days, but relationships might feel more frustrating than connected.  The on-going T-square with Jupiter in Libra, Uranus in Aries and Pluto in Capricorn is highlighting relationships of all kinds this year, fueling them with a lot of energy and high expectations but also some challenges. We are all experiencing a major conflict at this time between our own needs and desires versus the needs and desires of other people. On the one hand, you may find that your need for social interaction is high right now, but on the other hand, so is your need to just go solo and do your own thing. As a result, you may be feeling a fundamental conflict between your need for freedom and independence on the one hand, versus your need for human connection and belonging on the other.

Plus with Venus retrograde in her detriment of Aries, arguments might erupt as we struggle to negotiate what is more important: my needs versus your needs? You may be feeling somewhat confused about when to compromise, and when to take a stand for your own desires. Your personal boundaries are shifting daily now and this can lead you to engage in some extreme behavior that you are not used to. One moment, you might find yourself acting like a raging narcissist, a few hours later you turn into a people-pleasing martyr. And neither extreme may feel normal or right for you. You may find yourself struggling to keep the peace and to be tactful in one situation, only to turn around and act aggressively or selfishly on impulse in another. It is bewildering for you, to say the least, not to mention to those around you.

character-1797362_1920It is a time of opposites. If you are usually the type who is a loner, you may suddenly feel a great need to increase your social interaction. However, if you are used to being a socialite, you may find that you need to increase your alone time now. Ultimately, neither will likely feel completely fulfilling, because this T-square tends to symbolize a push-pull situation: when you are alone, you will be feeling lonely and bored and craving company, but when you are with others you will be feeling stifled and irritated and like you can hardly wait to go off and be by yourself again! (“I love you and can’t live without you! Now please get outta here and leave me alone!!!”) It is like being on a cosmic teeter-totter ride and not being allowed to get off. For months. The need to balance our needs versus other people’s is a see saw act that will go on for much of the year, peaking again in September of 2017.

Part of the problem is that you seem to have more people in your life at this time—since September of 2016, your social network and your social obligations have expanded. New faces might have appeared in your life. Spending time with these new folks feels invigorating. As well, new, exciting enterprises and projects that you have recently launched might also be claiming a lot of your attention. But as a result, the previous relationships in your life might have become neglected. The people in your key relationships might be demanding more of your time now to fix this neglect, and this feels stressful because you might feel that you don’t have enough time for yourself these days, much less everyone else!


person-1245959_1920So what do we do with all this? How do we solve the stress and the tension? Well, “solve” might not be the best word for it. This is a balancing act, folks, one that you have to tinker with daily—relationships will have to be skilfully juggled, moment by moment as long as this transit is operating throughout 2017. You may need to train yourself to be more mindful about this conflict and to stop throughout your day and ask yourself—what is the most important relationship that needs attending to right this second? The relationship I have with other people, or the relationship that I have with myself? Who needs my attention more right now? Other people? Or my own body? And if you find yourself falling too much one one side, you may need to work on the other for a little while to bring yourself into alignment again.

The fields of anatomy and physiology teach us that the sense of balance in the human body isn’t a static process – it is dynamic. Balancing our skeleton when we are standing upright requires a constant series of shifting micro-movements occurring within numerous bodily systems. It may seem to onlookers like we are standing completely still, but balance actually requires movement–perpetual motion that constantly shifts our body in microscopic ways. A similar balance is also being asked of us right now in all of our relationships–constant gradual shifts rather than extreme swings from one opposite to the other.

family-1599826_1920Note that the Pluto point of this T-square (the “resolution point”) falls in Cancer, suggesting that family relationships might help you balance out from all the social stress. However, family might be the last people that you choose to focus on right now, perhaps pushing them to the back burner due to other more demanding relationships. If the social balancing act is making you spin (Me versus you? Me versus you? Me versus you?) try jumping off the seesaw and doing something altogether different in the playground by engaging in some relaxing recreation with family members and see if that doesn’t settle things down a bit for you.

While this transit affects everyone on the planet, folks born with their planets in Aries and Libra will be feeling the brunt of this transit the most. But all Cardinal signs will be in the pressure cooker (so Cancer and Capricorn will really feel it, too) And if you have any planets in these Cardinal signs, you will really feel this transit, especially if they fall around 19 to 24 degrees.

kangaroo-543613_1280The upcoming New Moon on March 27/28, 2017 will also highlight this me-versus you issue. And a lot of these relationship issues will also come to a head in April when retrograde Venus enters Pisces and conjuncts Chiron while squaring Saturn. I will write more about those transits in my next article, as this relationship transit seesaws on into April. See you then.

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